No one ever pretended that shopping for anything is a rational experience. If it were, would there be Fluffernutter? Laceless sneakers? Porkpie hats? Would the Chia Pet even exist?

Poor David Hume is dying fast, but with more real cheerfulness and good humor and with more real resignation to the necessary course of things, than any whining Christian ever dyed with pretended resignation to the will of God.

pretended, opretended, 0pretended, lpretended, oretended, 0retended, lretended, poretended, p0retended, plretended, peretended, p4retended, p5retended, ptretended, pfretended, peetended, p4etended, p5etended, ptetended, pfetended, preetended, pr4etended, pr5etended, prtetended, prfetended, prwetended, pr3etended, pr4etended, prretended, prsetended, prdetended, prwtended, pr3tended, pr4tended, prrtended, prstended, prdtended, prewtended, pre3tended, pre4tended, prertended, prestended, predtended, prertended, pre5tended, pre6tended, preytended, pregtended, prerended, pre5ended, pre6ended, preyended, pregended, pretrended, pret5ended, pret6ended, pretyended, pretgended, pretwended, pret3ended, pret4ended, pretrended, pretsended, pretdended, pretwnded, pret3nded, pret4nded, pretrnded, pretsnded, pretdnded, pretewnded, prete3nded, prete4nded, preternded, pretesnded, pretednded, pretebnded, pretehnded, pretejnded, pretemnded, prete nded, pretebded, pretehded, pretejded, pretemded, prete ded, pretenbded, pretenhded, pretenjded, pretenmded, preten ded, pretensded, preteneded, pretenfded, pretenxded, pretencded, pretensed, preteneed, pretenfed, pretenxed, pretenced, pretendsed, pretendeed, pretendfed, pretendxed, pretendced, pretendwed, pretend3ed, pretend4ed, pretendred, pretendsed, pretendded, pretendwd, pretend3d, pretend4d, pretendrd, pretendsd, pretenddd, pretendewd, pretende3d, pretende4d, pretenderd, pretendesd, pretendedd, pretendesd, pretendeed, pretendefd, pretendexd, pretendecd, pretendes, pretendee, pretendef, pretendex, pretendec, pretendeds, pretendede, pretendedf, pretendedx, pretendedc.

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.

This morning I was laughing at my cat who was running up the stairs and slipped, and pretended like it didn't happen.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.