A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

A huge part of acting in movies is appetite. You do your best work when you've got a lot of appetite and you really want to embrace something. When you get tired, you don't have that hunger.

A guy's biggest style mistake is definitely trying to look too cool. As long as you've got a good pair of jeans, a good pair of boots and a few good shirts, you're fine.

A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed, but while it holds good it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.

A good thing to remember is somebody's got it a lot worse than we do.

A good basic selling idea, involvement and relevancy, of course, are as important as ever, but in the advertising din of today, unless you make yourself noticed and believed, you ain't got nothin'.

'Hello my name is the Republican Party and I got a problem. I'm addicted to spending and big government.' I'd like one of them just to stand up and say that.

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A month before graduation I got an off-Broadway job. Then I did some commercials, including one for MCI. You can only see half of me, but it paid well. Thank God for commercials.

A book has got smell. A new book smells great. An old book smells even better. An old book smells like ancient Egypt.

A girl's got to do what she's got to do to make somebody pay her a compliment. If that means moaning 'til the cows come home, then so be it.

About 15 years ago I went though a period of a year or so when I just couldn't find anything good. My wife noticed I was having trouble reading menus. I bought some cheap reading glasses in a drug store. I got home and suddenly all these books that weren't good were good.

A band is not a marriage. There are no oaths of allegiance. If you feel your life will be better served by splitting up the group, you've got to do it - but of course it does cause problems.

'Thank you power' is writing down the moments that are good in your life so that you can go back and reflect on them - so you've got this sort of repository of good stuff in your past.

'Vegas' was something very close to me. I had such a blast doing that. I'm still a little upset that we never really got to shoot that final episode. So many people were invested in it. I'll always be sad about that.

A little girl who finds a puzzle frustrating might ask her busy mother (or teacher) for help. The child gets one message if her mother expresses clear pleasure at the request and quite another if mommy responds with a curt 'Don't bother me - I've got important work to do.'

A man's got two shots for jewelry: a wedding ring and a watch. The watch is a lot easier to get on and off than a wedding ring.